Over the years of being a relationship coach I have come to realise that a happy and successful relationship boils down to one simple thing. In this article I am going to explain what that is so you can not only solve any relationship problems you have, but can re-live the experience of falling in love again and again!

I often use the experience of falling in love to explain how relationships work. Think back to the last time you fell in love or experienced intense feelings of love for your partner or for anyone or anything else for that matter. As you remember that experience notice that something was absent from the relationship at that moment. That something was judgment. You fell in love (or re-discovered love) when you removed judgment from your partner (or, putting it the other way round, you totally accepted them).

To understand why this is you will need to remember that love is not an emotion – it is a permanent state that exists between you and your partner. Love is always present, even when you are not feeling it! When you were first attracted to your partner you stopped judging them – their looks and their behaviour. Instead you saw all their beauty and gifts and over-looked anything that seemed negative about them. This is the non-judgment bit. They would have sensed that you weren’t judging them and would have bathed in your acceptance of them. This would make them feel great and they would have started liking you because they felt good in your presence. They then stopped judging you and the process of falling in love became a self-reinforcing positive cycle as each of you accepted each other more and more. The removal of judgment allowed you both to feel innocent and perfect and that is when your hearts opened and love showed up. Of course this dynamic of non-judgment happened simultaneously as the two of you fell head over-heals in love!

So far, so good. The next question then is why you might fall out of love again. Well the answer is again judgement. As time goes by you begin to notice little annoying habits and things about your partner that you would like to change. You have already started judging them – they no longer seem so perfect. And they feel this immediately. Feeling judged reminds them of how much they dislike and judge themselves and this makes them feel insecure. Rather than feel into this pain they project it onto you and start judging your behaviour (if they haven’t already started doing so!). You then feel judged and the cycle spirals downwards towards the power struggle – a stage that nearly every relationship goes through. The bottom line is that you have fallen out of love and those heady early days of the relationship seem a distant memory.

Naturally you want to get back to those feelings, so here are some suggestions about how to do this. The key is to STOP JUDGING your partner. You can do this in the short term by appreciating them rather than wanting to find fault with them or change them. Notice all the wonderful things about them that you love and let them know. Pour your love onto them at every opportunity without becoming needy. If you can genuinely do this from the heart, you will fall back in love because you have brought non-judgment back to the relationship. This will work, but you may notice that you slip back very easily into judgment. This is because you probably judge yourself both consciously and subconsciously. This means that you are continually projecting this out onto the people around you, including your partner. You will not notice you are doing this, but it will be picked up by your partner and they will then be tempted to judge you!

The way forward is to let go of the self-judgment. This requires changing the beliefs you have about yourself, particularly any guilt and feelings of failure you have stored away in your life. For more help with this have a look at my website or read my book which contains a detailed description of how self-judgment develops and how to work to change those negative beliefs and bring back the love.

As you heal self-judgment you will start accepting your life and everything in it. You will automatically reveal the love that has always been available to you and which you have caught glimpses of as you fell in love or slipped back into love at various times in your life. You can extend these periods of happiness indefinitely, simply by ending judgment. The unavoidable truth is that judgment hides love. Acceptance reveals it again. If only we could remember this and apply it to ourselves and our relationships, then our problems would cease and life would become blissful.

Moving to a Western country is likely to make you a minority. Your quest on how to find love, especially with someone of the same race, will be made much more challenging obviously because you are in a foreign land. You may want to start accepting a few facts of life when you are on a “find me a girl” or “find me a man” mode in a country not your own. Acceptance puts you in a frame of mind that will open you to possibilities you may not have considered before.

Successfully move into the dating scene in a Western country by starting to accept the following:

• The inevitability of dating (and falling for) somebody not of the same skin color. The law of attraction for love may work itself upon parties that may not necessarily share a lot of common ground;




• The new cultural reality you will have to adjust with anyway, dating or not. Understanding the cultural values of your new home will make you better accept future dates whose values may altogether clash with yours. You will be in a better position to get into the process of how to find love when you are open to welcome people of different backgrounds into your life;




• The likelihood of criticisms from conservatives. The West has its fair share of men and women who have not moved past the 20th century. Love spans cross-cultural relationships, which are going to be the new standard as we live in a progressively global community. The rate of change, however, is not the same for all people. There will always be individuals not as adaptive as you are when it comes to cross- cultural relationships, even though the truth is already in their face;




• The downside to dating somebody with an entirely different set of world view, philosophies, and established values. Many cross-cultural relationships fail to make progress because parties may not be willing to compromise; to give up something of a lower order to achieve another of a higher order. Among people of the same heritage, a certain degree of compromise is still important for the relationship to confer mutual benefits. This is all the more critical when dating somebody who brings a different cultural frame of reference in a relationship;




• The prevalent dating practices and norms in your new home country. As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. The same truth rings loud and clear in today’s dating scene, so wherever you find yourself, leave all your dating preconceptions at the door. The answer to “how to find me a girl” or “how to find me a man” starts with an open mind; for all you know, it will blindside you one lazy afternoon when all your guards are down.

The process of how to find love in a new environment indeed entails a willingness to discount prejudice and a readiness to embrace (drastic) changes. This does not mean, however, giving up who you are, which was largely shaped by where you came from. Date according to your comfort level. Know your boundaries, and enforce them. Understand what you can only work with at this point, because that will slowly prepare you to what you can work with at a later time. You still would want to be comfortable in your own skin, even as you “change your color” to adapt.

Giving birthday wishes, presents, and cards is a tricky undertaking. Getting the perfect gift, in the perfect color can be challenging. However, with birthday ecards, you can never go wrong, since they provide an exceptionally beautiful way of saying happy birthday to your friends and family. These cards portray a beautiful wish, presented with music, and a hint of humor. Secondly, you do not have to worry about envelopes, or mailing, since you just select the card, type in your birthday wishes, and send it off by email; the recipient will get it within seconds.

With birthday ecards, you do not have to worry about singing the same old birthday song. There is a wide variety of songs that you can select. The music cannot be compared to that played by musical birthday cards; this is digital music tat will have the recipient dancing once the card is received. The music varies from ballads, to rock, country, or techno. It would be a good idea to find out what kind of music the celebrant loves, so you can make a choice that he or she will cherish.

Although traditional birthday cards come with some humorous imagery, you cannot compare them to the animated characters that are put on birthday ecards. Depending on the recipients age, you can select from simple animations, to interesting dancing characters. The animations are set to play on a loop, so the card can go on delivering joy, for as long as the celebrant wants. Age should not stop you from sending a dancing animated character to your grandfather; you may have him dancing like he used to do in his younger years.

The sound of laughter during a birthday celebration is music to the ears. You want to know that the message that you send will not only have a sentimental value, but also plenty of humor. You can get funny birthday ecards that will elicit anything from a faint chuckle, to an all-out guffaw, from the celebrant. The character may be a TV cartoon that your young children will love, or a wildly naughty character, that you can send to adult celebrants. Whichever card you choose, you can be sure that the gesture will be appreciated.

These are some of the reasons why birthday ecards have become so popular, so the next time you want to send a birthday card, forget going to the mall, and get to an online birthday ecard site and send a memorable birthday wish.

The Russian people have a long history of learning the English language. However, in recent years the purpose of the language use has changed. During Soviet times the most important thing was to know how to read and understand how the grammar works – just for the sake of knowing a foreign language. When the era of worldwide traveling, international marriages and the internet started, English became more than another useless subject in school.

Russian parents understanding the importance of speaking English send their little ones (as young as 3 years of age) to English classes. Hopefully, this new generation will be fluent in English. However, Russian ladies for marriage these days still encounter some language problems. I asked a friend of mine who’s been living in the United States for quite a while to tell me what the common mistakes are that ladies from Russia make when speaking English.

She told me that there are different areas of language in which Russian ladies tend to make mistakes. Enemy number one is pronunciation. She said that she can tell if a person is from Russia by a specific “Russian” pronunciation – the habit of speaking English with Russian sounds, distinct and harsh.

The other mistake that is very common among Russian brides is transferring grammar rules or common expressions into English. The English word “normal” means almost the same as in the Russian language with a slight difference that implies “it could be better” in certain situations. Some examples are when you answer how things are with you or how the picture turned out. It is quite common to say that things are normal in Russia meaning that everything’s great. In English the meaning is slightly different. In the same vein, brides from Russia literally translate some of the most popular expressions and proverbs.

Thus, my friend often heard the wrong usage of “come to your senses” as “come to yourself”, which is just a word by word translation. Though some of these expressions just cause slight misunderstanding, which does not interfere with communication especially when people around you know that you are a foreigner, there are some expressions that can make you a laughing stock. You should tell your Russian bride that it is very wrong, to say “I feel myself bad/good”, when she just wants to say that she is fine.

Another mistake that ladies for marriage make in the United States is using British English instead of American English. It is self-explanatory – schools in Russia consider British English to be the real English. However, when you are in the New World using “porridge” instead of “oatmeal”, will most certainly result in having something else for breakfast.

Though knowing vocabulary, pronunciation and popular expressions are very important, ladies coming to a foreign country should pay even more attention to cultural aspects. The period of blending-in can take quite a while, but knowing some of them can get you there a lot faster.

My friend shared her own story about how she made a crucial mistake when going to restaurants: “I had a limited vocabulary and tried to use only basic words, because I was afraid that I would not be understood. Every time I went to a restaurant and the waitress asked me how my food tasted, I would reply that it was OK. I could never understand why they all tried to ask me if they could replace it or what was wrong with it. I would again say that it’s OK. Later I learned that you have to be more expressive in these situations. You should say that the food is good, great, fabulous or fantastic with a very cheerful tone in your voice. Mentality differences, what can I say?!”

In other words, dear men who wish to marry a bride from Russia – get ready to help her with some slight language problems. Good luck in your linguistic discoveries.

Looking beautiful and having brighter skin is not really much of a hassle nowadays. You can look pretty without having to take trips to the saloon or the skin clinic on a regular basis, just wash your face and moisturize. Always make a point to drink lots and lots of water and take vitamins, as one of your survival tactics, which can help you going. Always try your best to be happy by making time to do things you love. Being active in your organizations and staging performances make you feel great.

During times when you’re really busy or stressed, having a positive outlook and being at peace make things brighter. Apart from eating well, getting enough sleep, and saying no to drugs, you should also follow the four step regimen in taking care of your skin – cleanse, tone, correct, and moisturize.
Some routine in making their skin look bright are pretty simple. They basically just wash their face and moisturize in the morning, evening and in between.

You can brighten your day by utilizing survival techniques you know, such as making real conversations with your friends or by calling them up on the phone or by hanging out in the mall. Helping others with their school work, personal problems, org work and the like can also make you happy. Indulging in food, so small cheap thrills work: chocolate, coke, potato chips, ice cream, sweets, and coffee to name a few, can also lift your spirits and make your day brighter.

Nothing beats going out with your friends in the malls, the movies, or even anywhere for hours, for relaxation and fun. Talking and hanging out is the best thing in order to distress. Just being with people you love makes any day a whole lot brighter. Sleeping habit is something you should never give up for anything – even for work. This is the best way to take care of your self. You will always feel good the next day after a good night sleep, your body functions well and your skin looks great – all because you have enough sleep.

You can also brighten your day even with those simple things like watching television or listening to some romantic music. Survival tips helps too, and perhaps one of most important though is to know your priorities and keeping things in order. When your mind is at peace, you radiate the feeling, and this will always brighten your day.

You can also brighten your day even with those simple things like watching television or listening to some romantic music. Survival tips helps too, and perhaps one of most important though is to know your priorities and keeping things in order. When your mind is at peace, you radiate the feeling, and this will always brighten your day.

You’ve been dating him for what seems like an eternity. You know he’s the man of your dreams, and you are the woman of his. So, what’s taking him so long to pop the question?

While you are confident he wants to marry you, you may never know what is going on inside his head. Perhaps he’s still trying to pick out the perfect princess cut engagement ring. Maybe he’s waiting until he can use his vacation days to ask your father’s permission in person. Or perhaps he just hasn’t decided he’s ready for such as big commitment yet.

You can’t control what he’s thinking about or what he does, but you can control how you cope with it. You may want that wedding ring on your finger right now, but, trust us, you don’t want to be the girl who makes a big deal about it, cries about how long it’s taking him to ask you, or whines to her friends about how anxious you are.

The following are a few tips to help you properly cope with the fact that he hasn’t proposed yet.

How to Cope When He Doesn’t Propose

• Take Care When Talking to Your Friends- There’s going to come a time when your friends bring up the topic of engagements and marriage, and the way you react to those questions will determine how stressful the discussion is for you. Instead of saying “I don’t know what’s taking him so long. I feel like he’ll never ask”, redirect the question or act indifferent, by saying something like, “He’ll propose when he’s ready and the time is right.” This is especially important if your friends ask while your man is present. He may feel like he’s on the spot and pressured for an answer. If you react indifferently, he will feel much more relaxed about the situation.




• Don’t Bug Him- Nagging him about when he’s going to propose is only going to create stress, and the more stress you put him through, the more confused or angry he is going to feel. You might just talk him out of proposing completely with your nagging. Instead, give him some space and let him think. This will create a stress-free atmosphere you can both live in harmoniously.




• Don’t Start Planning the Wedding- What little girl doesn’t want to get a sneak preview of what her wedding is going to look like? While you think you will feel better about your man not proposing yet making future plans, trying on dresses, and talking to vendors, you might actually make yourself depressed. After all, all of the vendors, consultants, and boutiques are going to ask you two questions you just can’t answer: where’s your ring and when’s the date?




• Live for Now- You know he loves you and is going to present you with engagement rings and ask you to spend the rest of your life with him eventually, so why stress? Live for the moment. If your relationship needs sparks, don’t obsess about a proposal; try something new together. Take a class, go on a picnic, or learn a new skill together.

If you are struggling with the fact that your man hasn’t popped the question yet, don’t obsess about it. Use these tips to keep your stress level down and enjoy the dating life you have now, so you can truly enjoy your engagement later on.

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While you may be enjoying your romantic life as a normal boyfriend-girlfriend couple, there comes a point when you realize that you want something more. If you find that you are very happy with your partner and want to spend the rest of your life with him or her, you start thinking about taking things to the next level. This means getting engaged. If you are still not sure whether this is for you, here are some of the things that you should verify to see if an engagement is something that you should consider.

Have you been a couple for a long time? – think about it. If you have been a couple for a very long time, you will not be able to avoid thinking about an engagement. It is the natural evolution of your relationship. In fact, if you have been with your partner for a long time already, chances are, you have already talked about an engagement. If you are just a new couple, then an engagement is a subject that is too far off in the horizon that you will not be able to see it just yet.

Do you want to settle down already? – an engagement is a huge commitment. It is not just like dating exclusively or just being in a normal boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. An engagement is almost the closest thing to a marriage because it is basically a promise of marriage. Once you level up to an engagement, you are basically opening your door to a lifelong commitment.

Do you want to be with your partner for the rest of your life? – this is the most important question that you should answer before even thinking about having an engagement. If being with your partner makes you happy and you cannot just bear the thought of not being with your partner, then maybe you should propose an engagement.

Do you need to work to prepare for a good wedding? – if you are lucky to have enough money for your dream wedding, then you can skip the engagement and get married right away. However, if you still need to work and save up the money for your wedding, then it is high time that you get engaged as soon as possible. This way, you will be working together to prepare for your eventual wedding. It will also ensure that you will be committed to each other even if you are not yet married.